I had to tell my wife to cancel our dinner with Bill O’Reilly.  Yeah I know he’s a famous political pundit and author.  No it wasn’t his conservative political views, nor his ability to go on TV talk shows and get everybody all worked up.  It’s the author thing.  Let me explain.

These days Bill has a best selling book all the time.  Go to Costco and look on the book table.  They don’t have a lot of books, but one is always his.  And in these books somebody gets killed.  All the time.  Famous people like Lincoln, Kennedy, Patton and even Jesus.  Why is nobody safe?  I’m surprised the authorities don’t see the connection.

That’s why I told my wife to cancel the dinner.  I don’t want to end up dead.  That would be very hard for me since I like living.  Now I’m not saying he kills these people, but you gotta admit they’re all deceased.  I don’t want him to think his next book is KILLING SONGWRITER and
I’m the songwriter.  I’ve got a lot more to do before I go. 
So cancel the dinner.  We’ll reschedule for some future date...Never  

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